My guardian angel has been really in my face this week sending 
me messages. What's the message? Get the hell out of the village and find thyself some friends, books, money, freedom, variety in life! Did I mention freedom?
It has seriously never ever entered my head to live in Bangkok. It's a ginormous, ugly, dirty, stinky, overcrowded human zoo of disgustation! I'm not a fan to put it lightly. BUT, the last time I was there a feeling of acceptance crept in and I liked that I could get fresh fruit or a thousand different delicacies right outside my door, I liked that I had hot water and could sit down to do my business, I liked the air-conditioning on the sky train and I liked the fact that I could go to a movie in English any time I wanted.
me messages. What's the message? Get the hell out of the village and find thyself some friends, books, money, freedom, variety in life! Did I mention freedom?It has seriously never ever entered my head to live in Bangkok. It's a ginormous, ugly, dirty, stinky, overcrowded human zoo of disgustation! I'm not a fan to put it lightly. BUT, the last time I was there a feeling of acceptance crept in and I liked that I could get fresh fruit or a thousand different delicacies right outside my door, I liked that I had hot water and could sit down to do my business, I liked the air-conditioning on the sky train and I liked the fact that I could go to a movie in English any time I wanted.
I've been a bit of a cranky puss the last indefinite amount of time (don't ask my husband for a more accurate time frame!) because frankly, it sucks living with a certain species of woman that gives birth to a son and I ain't referring to Mary. I have morphed into the non-smiling, non-happy, cranky pants person that I'm forced to live with and I can't bear it! I shall not BE my MIL damn it! Therefore drastic action is required. I was tossing up whether moving back to Australia was dramatic enough...and yes, yes it is, but the logistics of doing that when you're poor and husband's visa is a lot of mula put the breaks on that. Several other options were tossed around in the maze and just as I'm working myself into a confusion pit I get my first divine sign via email (thanx ghs). One sentence that mentioned MIL, Bangkok and vacancy in the same sentence and an explosion of light almost blinded me. The second sign was opening a magazine (thanx ghs!) to the exact page titled "Is it time for a change?" "...is your life predictable? You may be suffering a condition for which there's only one cure - change". 
Now tell me that's not a slap in the face getyourbuttouttathere message! Followed by "there's a lot to be said for being in a rut. It's safe, secure...blah blah blah". I'm in a rut. A rut where I'm 30 and living with parents....enough said really. It's time for change, face the unknown, shake things up a bit, get some mula to make my dreams come true!Don't get me wrong, I love the village, love village life, love the people, the scenery, the lifestyle but unfortunately my current living situation (involving no freedom whatsoever) doesn't look to be changing any time soon. Yes, the trees were cut for the bungi but more delays, no signing over that was promised years ago, and so on and so on just tells me that I am the one who has to take action and not wait for things to happen. Even if I don't get the job perhaps it will spur some people whom shall remain nameless into action! Fear of no grandchildren is a great motivator!
7 commentaramas:
When I am not out on Koh Lanta pondering the Andaman Sea or visiting family in America (land of big cars and bad mortgages), I enjoy staying in Bangkok. It is a great city that has a lot going for it despite the pollution and hubbub. A month or two or...in the city would probably shed some light on many things...chok dee!
mataho
What does your husband think of the idea? I can't imagine that he's not just as tired of living with MIL as you are. Maybe both of you could move there for a while and move back when your bungi is finished?
What about some bigger cities up the coast like Hua Hin or Chaam? There's a larger "acceptance factor" there and you're not as far away as if you lived in BKK or Chiang Mai. I can see you're getting to that point of "I've GOT to do SOMETHING". You'll feel so much better for it too. Tricky part is a solid game plan for Jay - change is easy if you're khon diao, but with your sami, it's got to work for two.
I totally hear you on the change front. It sounds like a great idea! I'm with Amy though, a smaller town may be a better option, especially after village life. Bangkok is great but equally insane! Maybe somewhere close enough to Bangkok to get a regular fix and yet still have a pretty easygoing lifestyle?? Anyway, whatever you end up deciding, good luck with the decision making...
Ange
M - thanks! I think going from village to big city will be slightly insane but think I'm up to the challenge!
TC - after 3 days of consideration hubby is all on board! We first thought that just I would go but it's a good opportunity for him to study a few courses and either find work after or come back to run our biz..have to see!
Amy - are you getting my mail?! Have definitely reached the point. One too many delays on escaping this house so I had to draw the line! This is a good opportunity for both of us before we have kids to make some money and get some qualifications, even though it's in Bangkok, it's come at the right time for us.
Ange - Thanks! I'm a woman of extremes it seems! The job is only a 2+ year contract and considering how fast the last 3 years went I know time will fly. Am thinking perhaps out of the big city will come after.
This is assuming I even get to interview stage! Will keep you posted..
Ha, my first two years in BK has whizzed by. Yup, it's all those words you mention, but friends and books easily make up for it!
JJx
I'm with JJ - friends and books definately make up for it!!!
C x
Post a Comment